Well hello. It’s been a while hasn’t it? Took a bit of a hiatus from this space after an incredibly short career of making posts at a somewhat reasonable schedule. It’s taken every bit of effort to make my way back here but I really want to give this a shot. I know I enjoyed it when I threw my thoughts into the void and I know I want to try to reacquire that enjoyment. I believe part of why I dropped from the earth so quickly after making my first post was because I psyched myself out. I thought I had a lot to talk about, and I do, but I didn’t feel like what I had to share was worth it. Hell it probably isn’t, but why in the world should I care if it is or isn’t. One of my biggest problems, both in life and in my attempts at being creative, seems to be that I worry about what others think. I can’t help but be concerned by the fact that other people may not like who I am for some reason or another. That leaks into the things that I try to create, such as my D&D ideas. I worry that my ideas and executions when running a campaign are flawed and nobody is enjoying themselves. When that happens I corner myself and get stuck in my own mind unable to to properly put pen to paper and actually create something. The ideas float around my head eager to be put to work, but for some reason I manage to convince myself that it’s not worth the time. Frankly I’m sick of it. I need to do better, not just creatively but also career wise and life in general. I’ve dropped the ball here folks. No other person to blame but me. So that’s what 2017 is going to be about. It’ll be about me getting shit done in all aspects of my life. It’ll probably start getting a bit more personal up in here, then again it already was very early on. My hope is that in time I can truly increase my ability to be creative in some shape while also being a productive member of society and getting my shit together. Be prepared for a whole lot of cussing cause.
Something I need to make sure is clear, I am shit at keeping up with this kind of a commitment. It’s passive and doesn’t have that much impact on my day to day. My hope is that I gradually adopt a lifestyle that will eventually allow me to be more critical and invested in this and everything that it is entailed. Also something I want to make obvious to those who actually read this, talk to me. Whether it’s through comments or through twitter, as much as I worry about others opinions about me I also really just enjoy talking to others. To end this tirade I would like to say the thing that I will hopefully say at the end of every post (Call me out if I don’t). Try what peeks your interest, lift yourself up when you fail, and do the things that make you happy.
P.S. I really need to stop doing this shit at two in the morning. Add that to the laundry list.